He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
