Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
