Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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