i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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