but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
