Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
