Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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