I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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