You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's official drugs can't kill me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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