Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
