You're my little dorito
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
