If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They are going to name an STD after you.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize