The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
