Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
