watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
