he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
