and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize