I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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