I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
