okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
