Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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