I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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