i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
