Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
