You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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