I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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