so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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