Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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