is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
