talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
