We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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