We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
