@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize