those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
