i was born a porn star she said
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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