His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
