I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize