Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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