Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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