I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
