are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
