We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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