you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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