Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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