What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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