So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
