One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My ass is underappreciated
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Damn victory sex feels great
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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