omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
