in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
