This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i need some magic done to my vagina
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize