That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
