omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
