I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
