He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
