Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
