No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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