I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
