On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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