So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
