Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
